Life and people are ridiculous

Coming out of the cocoon.

2007-12-14T18:40:00.000+08:00

Rose in the wind

Can I take you back there?

Drifting on the warm air

Say you'll follow anywhere

All of our nights into the jade skies

I'll be true to you

Flying over the moon

Lying in the bamboo

I'll always know the light in the window

-Anggun

Anggun is amazing. That song again.

Human reaction to loss really is slow.

I'm holding in my thoughts and perhaps momentary feelings in so much that most of the times the yearning fades.

Blocking it out. Blocking it out. Blocking him out of my fragile chamber.
With these hands above my head, the hands once trying to catch elusive raindrops, i spread my once tightly held fingers open and let those precious drops fall where they wish.

2007

2007-12-11T17:16:00.000+08:00

More than a year on since my last post. So much has changed and so much this life has taught me. However, i understand that one can't pride themselves on what knowledge has been acquired as so much more is to be learnt, then again that chance may not come. This is said without sadness, only acceptance because i want to make the most of what time is spent with those i care for, including myself.

Days are good and hard. Nights comforting, sometimes lonely but there's too many things i feel thankful for such as the roof over my head, the love of my family and my crazy (but oh-so disciplined now) brother (yeah Ken, i'll give you that at least) ;).

Not so sure where i'll end up in a few months, KL, elsewhere or even just in myself. I struggled with change for so long but it seems that i'm coming to terms with this aspect of life.
Crazy crazy sometimes i feel and stable like a rock at other times.

Vixie, Fi and myself have grown so close, its great that family doesn't have to mean blood. Learnt that i am allowed to pride myself on being a loyal friend, funny, i always thought i'd think of my own ass first in past friendships. It's nice being more chilled, shouting less and loving ur girls as well as ur own soul.

My mum's art is going on and she's doing well, her health's not too good but i know she copes and still laughs with papa, right mami? Especially cos she has us sayangs to talk to her! Can't wait for u and papa to come down.
My daddy's doing ok too, hope he finds the relaxation and productivity he longs for. Always tried to teach me patience, a great father in the best way he knows how. I know Ken and I both want the best for him so that he can find himself.

Listening to a great song on Sunshine's PC, bloody nice if only i could share the name of it with u guys, some Spanish song that has a part where she says 'poco-poco' so thats what i say to Sunshine everytime i want him to play it - THE 'POCO-POCO' SONG, PLAY IT!!!!' in return for these demands, he's allowed to call me Bozo the clown. Hehehe crazy old dude, sorry Sunny, love ya (and ur still 21 in all the girls eyes)!

Meh. If you guys, Ansgar n Ryan still read this i got a job in the air n water purifier business, the glamour, the fame, the door-to-door sales and "no we don't need ur water purifier" hahahh, honest job lah, vaat to do. Hope that u dudes are doing well too, Ken with his dead bodies, Ansgar and the radio uni life and our dear Americanised Ryan, we must do the tuscany-amsterdam thing though i think u arseholes are gonna bypass tuscany huh? :D Should do some time in KL n Sing too, go to hooters and beach club again.

Anyvays, i am off now, happy days to everybody, take care and bye-dee-bye! Maybe i'll post soon, maybe in a long time, who knows.

Internet cafe in Chinatown

2006-08-10T17:17:00.000+08:00

Wow dude, I'm currently posting from a Chinese internet cafe due to my slow-ass internet connection at home. Anyways you won't believe the mixture of music, game-effects and Chinese dialects in this place, I feel all purple-green and pink techno right now...maybe I'll pop an E and shake my head ala Feng Tao style :)

Hehehh, anyways my tonsillitis is getting better, got some numbing strepsils in a blackcurrant flavour - oh yum, I can't feel a thing in my mouth.

Oh and guys check out my mum's Art Gallery for some Asian art. What I love about her art is the passion, tradition and spiceness (is that a word?) I feel her pieces emit.
What's so special about her paintings and mixed media? Well I've watched this woman prepare the most delicious Asian food since I was a child, her hands and food were meant to work together. Other than this, she has an extensive knowledge of various Asian cultures; for example Japanese, Indonesian, Malaysian to name a few. She also possesses a special wisdom found very rarely in this world, add to this her vibrancy, her personality is interwined with her pieces.
She has had her first exhibition and some media coverage, for a woman in her first year of delving seriously into her art, I think this a great start.

Above is a glance of her gallery, enjoy.

Ok my hour's almost up, catch you mofos later,
love, Yumi.

Aloha!

2006-06-29T06:10:00.000+08:00

'Water Baby'

'Own the World' - Yumi

'Eye of the Beholder' - Nisha

Hey there...hmmmm, life is pretty good.

It's 6 a.m so I ain't gonna write much but check out my photography when you guys get the chance.

Above are some of my works, gimme a break though aye, I ain't got a Nikon D70 or anything :)

As a side note, thank you VERY VERY much Ansgar for sending me the Nu-Jazz C.D online, thanks babes and I'm sorry I haven't had the time to e-mail you and thank you. I really am a shitty long-distance friend sometimes, I know how to solve that, come back for a holiday!! I'll give you all the chilli and fried rice you want! :P

Anyways gonna nap now, take it easy dudes and dudettes.

Vote for Mofo!

2006-06-14T06:18:00.000+08:00

Yay! I got the cutest little furball (courtesy of my friends over at Fionaism Inc.) and we've decided to call him Mofo! Heheh

Go Mofo...
Go Mofo ...
Uh Uh it's your birthday...

:)

*He's a kitten*

Hola

2006-05-22T05:29:00.000+08:00

Oh joy! Yumi ain't a dirty lil'secret anymore. Of course she pretended to be nonchalant but was bursting like fireworks inside.
Problem is, she seems to be mucking it up for herself *sigh* seems like many of us are doin that these days aye?

No more sulking over occasional no booty, aaargh, keep forgetting that as the girl, ideology has it that one has to be contented over hugs & kisses and relieved when given headache leave.

All The World's a Stage.

2006-05-15T20:55:00.000+08:00

Big world, different personalities.

There's that girl you know, she walks with her head high, a ball of confidence. Her inner sensitivity pleasantly surprises u when u think she's left u for dead. You don't know how to describe her - she's loud, sad, beautiful and moody. Her bite is just as bad as her bark...Then she'll hold ur hair and soothe you while you puke your guts out.

There's the diplomatic yet crazy guy you know. He's so funny your sides ache when you laugh with him but can he be oh so snappy. That nice and gentle soul who's eyes show hurt when u claim you hate him, the one who will protect you to the death if he thinks you deserve it, or if he's unfortunately (for him) related to you. He's the one that, to the traditional, makes drastic mistakes. The dude that is once burnt and twice shy, the devil who cares.

There's the woman you know, the softest, nicest entity ever. You worry for her, you wonder how high she can go and if the landing will be hard and cruel. Her happiness is so joyful that you can never bring yourself to burst her bubble - she flits like a butterfly from one place to another, you lose your breath trying to catch up.

There are those crazy ones you know. The ones that enter your life, dry you up of so much, then they leave. They reappear randomly, be it a phone call, a sighting on the street and you find yourself forever wondering if they're sorry, if they know what they're actually capable of. Some find themselves, end up successful and even moral and some never change.

There's that dainty one, the one who would offer you a cup of tea. The one who smiles but never gives anything away. She floats on air, so pretty yet so untouchable, she 'knows' everything about you and you honestly have no hardcore clue about her, she's so lacey but can hurt you like cold steel. She's the one who will make it through life, with the help of others or on her own, the only real thing on display is her fire for her perfect place, and the fact that she would stand up to and easily dismiss men twice her size.

There's the group of young men, still reliving their boyhood. The ones that find strength in numbers...interrogate them one by one and watch them fall apart. The strongest ones, ironically are afraid, resentful of and controlled by the weaker, nastier ones. You avoid them, feel sad as you are around them, you get annoyed and frustrated at the foolishness that is around you. You hope, for their sake, that their process of turning into men will be swift instead of painfully slow.

The poetic girl who lives in her imperfect bubble but makes do. Her cats watch you like little actors playing their part in her directed movie. You can't help but know her pain and you feel warm when she's happy, you can see how hard life is as you relate. The younger one cooks and they crack goofy jokes to make the most of what is offered them, diamonds in the rough is what comes to mind. She's the one who walks this life without letting anything go unnoticed, a little woman, who paradoxically, is afraid of police harassment yet will sneak into a club cos she really wants to go in.

Then there's the one that really feels for people. She's a medic at helping others, beautiful inside out but this life is fulla arseholes. She's amazing, says the most incredible one-liners ever created and makes the most intelligent jokes that stupid people go "wha..?" at. She's the one you can dicuss Salman Rushdie and Garfield with, who will be so harsh cos she cares, she listens, enjoys the company of everyone...well almost.

Well there you go, my incredibly mushy post dedicated to many whom I love. Nothin bout my main baby but lets not get that mushy. ;)

Meh F***

2006-03-22T19:08:00.000+08:00

Ok, so that was a crappy post after how many months. I'm sitting in a cyber cafe right now...watching this Chinese man clean *clean clean Chinese man, or nobody can play counter-strike* checked google, friendster, deviantart, I go to the same places online even, the boring cycle of having everything ready at ur hands and feeling lazy living in a tiny freakin' city with nothing to do. So...what to do? Eat, sleep, eat some more, go out, shop, dance - achieving nothing but memories in this place.

Oh how soothing the sound of PC games and Chinese pop songs are. As well as the sound of my internet cafe mate telling me he needs to pee, cool day.

Meh.

2006-03-22T19:03:00.000+08:00

Rose-tinted glasses come off! Too much of a good thing can make you blind.

Me, myself and Yumi.

2006-01-29T05:49:00.000+08:00

I'm bored and have nothing of merit to write, so I found out bout this 'Googlism' thingie from Farrah's website, you type in your name and they tell you what google thinks of you hahah. Here's an extract of what they say bout me.

www.googlism.com

yumi is in your car
yumi is maintained and it is shot properly it will serve you well
yumi is a very good artist for her age
yumi is a young girl who's not too good with schoolwork
yumi is announced as the final member of the space knights
yumi is susceptible to extremes of climate and use
yumi is also difficult
yumi is chastised by natasha for not having fixed a communication pack
yumi is able to divert the beam from natasha
yumi is a short girl who looks no more than 15 years old
yumi is the heroine of the loophole saga
yumi is the type that guys like
yumi is truly a chip off the old block
yumi is absolutely huge and defined; best body parts are her calves and upper body; the video cd is better quality than vhs tape (hahahahahahhahahahahha)
yumi is a natural double recurve bow with the arrow nocked one third of the way from the bottom
yumi is the proud owner of a #1 barbie
yumi is well presented
yumi is rash and immature
yumi is having a designer's block right now
yumi is not just a pretty face
yumi is shocked
yumi is the person who has to prove to the others that she is worthy of the job even though she's quite clumsy
yumi is what miyu transforms into with the power of her jewels (hahah that's funny cos Kenji says I turn into bad Miyu when I drive!)
yumi is a human

Blar blar blar, goodnight folks!

Cannibalism

2006-01-10T07:15:00.000+08:00

My mum sent me this e-mail, she's wierd but this is wierder *urgh*

Cannibal goes on charm offensive
David Crossland, Berlin

A SELF-CONFESSED cannibal who killed and ate a man he met on the internet has said he deeply regrets his crime and would not have done it if his victim had not wanted to be eaten.
Armin Meiwes, 44, speaking in a Frankfurt prison in his first interview since he was jailed for 8 1/2 years in January 2004 for manslaughter, appeared calm and contrite. The prosecution has appealed against his conviction and he is due to go on trial again this week for murder.

"I understand and regret deeply what I did, but the victim wanted me to do it," insisted Meiwes, a former soldier and computer repair man. "Otherwise I would never have touched him."

Apparently unwilling to prejudice his own retrial, Meiwes declined to reveal whether he would carry out a similar act again. He said he would have preferred it if his victim, Bernd Jurgen Brandes, 43, a homosexual computer engineer, had killed himself.

But Gunter Stampf, a German film maker who conducted the interview, said Meiwes had admitted he still had fantasies about cannibalism and was struggling to contain them.

"He built up a fantasy world on the internet and then it suddenly became real," said Stampf, who has visited Meiwes in jail on several occasions. "He is fighting against those fantasies and wants therapy. He wants to start a normal life afterwards."

German police estimate there are 8,000-10,000 people in their country who fantasise about eating a person or being eaten and are attracted to websites devoted to the practice.

Meiwes took Brandes to the specially constructed killing room of his rambling timbered farmhouse in Rotenburg, in western Germany, in 2001 after Brandes posted a message in the chatroom of one such site.

He insists his victim consented to the gruesome chain of events that began with both men trying to eat Brandes's penis — first raw and then fried — and ended with Meiwes laying out the corpse on a butcher's bench and chopping it into pieces.

Meiwes, who recorded the deed on videotape, ate 44lb of his victim's remains in the following months, defrosting pieces portion by portion. He kept the skull in a freezer and buried other parts in his garden.

Even as he ate his way through Brandes, barbecuing some parts and following gourmet recipes for others, Meiwes continued to advertise for other victims. It was not until December 2002, after he was reported to the police by an Austrian student, that he was arrested.

"I am preparing intensively for my trial," said Meiwes, who has become a keen churchgoer and believes the spirit of the dead man lives on through him. "I have my files, which are copious, and I'm reading them. I have three good lawyers and I am calm, relaxed and very confident."

After his trial brought him worldwide attention, Meiwes rejected substantial offers from film companies and publishers, instead assigning the global rights to his story to Stampf's Hamburg-based company, Stampfwerk, for no charge on condition it gave a full and accurate account of his case. "I want to explain what made me do this and I want to warn other people," he told Stampf.

Meiwes, who works in the prison library, is writing a diary that will form part of his memoirs, due to be published this autumn. Stampf’s company is also working on a documentary. He said the BBC and HBO, the American cable television channel, had expressed interest.

But Meiwes said he was unhappy about an American-made film - Butterfly, a Grimm Love Story - which he claims is so closely based on his case that it may prejudice his trial.

2005 Sucked, But the End Was Cool.

2006-01-10T06:55:00.000+08:00

My cutie-pie cousins, Natasha and Nadya, it's a damn shame you guys can't see their faces. Natasha is an intelligent kid, she can speak english, malay and chinese and she's only 8! This pic is just like them though, they can't sit still, just like energizer bunnies.

2006-01-10T06:48:00.000+08:00

Poppy! My mum's friend, such a fun, bubbly lady and her boyfriend Roland has such a gruff Scandinavian voice. Great ppl, and i think she's laughin at everyone goin thru the metal detector, KL tower and their high security - they were suspicious of my eyelash curlers...

2006-01-10T06:40:00.000+08:00

Man my mum's hot! Auntie Nora, mummy and Poppy are checkin out the Indian Santa hahahah...Indian Santa?!

2006-01-10T06:32:00.001+08:00

I love this photo, thats us almost everday - like crazy morons on speed hahah, splat!

2006-01-10T06:32:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna kill you with my sunglasses

2006-01-10T06:31:00.000+08:00

Christmas Eve '05, With Kenji, mummy, her husband Marc and friends. Btw, see the old dude with the santa hat on my left? He is the coolest man you will ever meet, what a life he's had, couldn't stop talkin to him for hours!

2006-01-10T01:12:00.000+08:00

Fiona having a moment and Nisha with the firecrackin' Silla close by, she'll bite! New Year's eve.

2006-01-10T01:07:00.001+08:00

Happy New Year! Nishasha and Yumpie.

2006-01-10T01:02:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas 2005 from the greedy f*ckas Kenji and Yumi!

2006-01-10T00:37:00.000+08:00

Booyakasha! Miss you Bianca! Urgh, Fiona and Shoba and Yumi's smelly faces are still around.

I Did Somethin' Outta the Ordinary

2006-01-07T22:12:00.000+08:00

Man, i did somethin ultra cool yesterday...I slept at 12pm and managed to sleep all the way til 4am!! I mean, ok its not cool, God knows it's not good for me but man oh man, i didn't know i was still capable of that. Oh Sleep, my old friend, its been a long time since we had a liaison like that, how i missed you.

Yeah ok, so apart from meetin up with my friend Sleep, i didn't achieve much today. Stayed at home, different underwear but stayed in the same clothes, chilled out with my hilarious father...I'll tell you a funny little story -

So i was on the phone with Nisha, somethin we were talkin about provoked me to ask my dad if i'm a good daughter, the inevitable answer came

Otosan (dad) : "No! you no good daughta!"
Me: AHAHAHAH its ok cos you love me anyway
Otosan : *mumble mumble*, i'm cooking, you want curry chicken or (some japanese rice thingy), you do washing up today, *mumble mumble* i want ice cream for desert (he LOVES food and cooking, our whole family does)
Me : uh-huh, uh-huh, can we eat the (japanese rice thingy)
Otosan : Cho! (Its this funny sound he makes) why u don't want curry?
Me : Otosan! The chicken curry's just baaad! Um, daddy i love you but erm...i'm on the phone right now.
Otosan : *picks up a napkin, rolls it into a hard yellow ball and throws it at me* ehehehehehehe *and he runs off*

Hahahahahahha, oh my dad is a classic! I love him and so does 98% of the ppl we meet, the other 2% have either

a) Had their windshield wipers pulled up by him
b) Been told off about the freshness and quality of their food by him
c) Had their cars purposely scratched or pushed (with hands only) around until the alarms go off by him (ok it's all of us, but when the old man doesn't do it himself, he insults the situation by giving his evil little "ehehehehehe" laugh afterwards)

Hey man, you try living and driving in Malaysia where you will wait patiently for 5-10 minutes for a parking space, put ur signal on and then some utter cunt steals it right infront of ur eyes!

Heheh, well those 2 things were the highlight of my 24hrs, Sleep and chilling at home with my father. He makes my world so much more fun and he's not all bad lah, he's got a heart of gold when it comes to helping people in need, poor thing has only recently learnt how to say no to ppl. Oh and if you're wondering, i did wash the dishes, he was happy and he sure as hell didn't forget about the ice-cream.

Thai Light Balls Look Cool

2006-01-07T17:02:00.000+08:00

Your Eyes Should Be Brown

Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom
What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

Oh God, how did you know (about the brown)?? Hahahah...Ok i'll laugh by myself then :P

You Are Chinese Food

Exotic yet ordinary.
People think they've had enough of you, but they're back for more in an hour.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Oh thanks man, aren't these tests supposed to tell me i'm special and bla bla bla?

Ok, had enough of blogthings...Thanks Terri for putting it up on ur blog so little ol'me had the chance to try them heheheh.

Can I Get an uh-uh.

2006-01-04T21:46:00.000+08:00

Music makes the world move baby, so here's some tracks I love

King of Sorrow - Sade

Six Underground - Sneaker Pimps

Sour Times - Portishead

Lapdance (Paul oakenfold remix) - N.E.R.D

Buses and Trains - Bachelor Girl

Walk on By - Aretha

Round Here and Fast Love - George Micheal

It's Gonna Rain - Bonnie Pink (what a name)

Beauty on The Fire and Smoke - Natalie Imbruglia

Black Hole Sun - Sound Garden

Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone - Al Green

Song for Whoever - Beautiful South ( i used to love this as a kid)

Sunny Came Home - Shawn Colvin

The Seed -The Roots and Cody Chestnutt

Light My Fire - The Doors (...aaah brings back memories of 6th grade)

Walkin' on the Sun - Smashmouth

Aurora - Vanessa Mae

Dock of the Bay - Otis Redding

Lithium and Teen Spirit - Nirvana

Kembali and Rose in the Wind - Anggun (amazing and underappreciated singer)

Road Rage - Catatonia

No Regrets - Robbie Williams

Give it Away - Red Hot Chilli Peppers

Take Five -Dave Brubeck Band

Who Will Save Your Soul and You Were Meant for Me - Jewel (loved the '90s)

Wind of Change and Walkin on the Edge - Scorpions (my first ever C.D, stupid me gave it away)

Girl from Ipanema - Astrud Gilberto

Sakura Drops - Utada Hikaru (beautiful lyrics)

Otherwise - Morcheeba

Push Up - Freestylers

Like a Stone - Audioslave

Human Nature, Erotic, Take a Bow and the Power of Goodbye - Madonna (don't knock the Material Girl!)

Sweetest Taboo - Shola Ama (memories of 16 and introduction to the crazy world of clubbing)

Love Song and Amber - 311

They Say Vision - Res

Let Me Clear my Throat - DJ Kool

Heart of Glass - Blondie

You're My Heart - Modern Talking (i know...cheesy, but I love it)

Hahahah, the list is all over the place man but yeah, check out some of the titles.

We're so lucky to have music, don't you just love it when a certain song gives you such an intense feeling? 'Like a Stone' does that to me, i used to listen to it whilst thinkin about my mum. The lyrics and Chris Cornell's haunting voice always sounded like a call, as if someone's beckoning me into a trance, and i used to sit in my lonely old room in a despair-filled stupor. Luckily things are alot more brighter and i don't have that reaction anymore, it just gives me goosebumps now.

It's raining now, perfect time for a coffee and cigarette...and I'm gone.

Get Rid of Carrot-Top!

2005-12-28T23:17:00.000+08:00

So which one is it? Betty or Veronica? I've always preferred Veronica to tell ya the truth, she's just so much more hotter. Thing is though, i don't get why they're always fighting over Archie, for God's sake girls i'm sure there's more fish in Riverdale - and even though Reggie's always being an arse, he's pretty hot too and maybe his behaviour is linked to his inferiority complex in regards to Archie...hmmm, something to think about.

Was looking at the Jap and American comics today and how they're so different from each other

-When it comes to super heroes, American comics tend to have A superhero featured, whereas in Jap anime there's usually a collective group.

-There's so much of space travel and futuristic themes in anime, in contrast, American comics superheroes tend to be gifted or gain their powers from some natural or toxic source.

-Love Hina is a bit of an Archie, the main character has all these girls fawning over him but he's a bit of a bumbler so he doesn't realise, plus he only has affections for one dudette. Archie, on the other hand likes both, is aware of their affections and can't make up his mind.

-There's also alot of perverse and/or underlying sexuality in anime. American comics also include sexuality (e.g wonderwoman/catwoman's outfits) but it's all very obvious, heheh and ya don't see catwoman falling in love with a much younger man or changing her sexual preference.

Hahahah well i have alotta time to think abt these things, but yeah not one is better than the other - They're just two very diff styles from two diff continents.

Still though, i find that American animation is sometimes really frustrating...Haven't you wished that Veronica would get Archie because she has been cast as the 'evil' out of Betty and Veronica? Or that they would just leave him? And how bout Tom and Jerry? Even as a little kid i sometimes wished Tom would just EAT Jerry! Have to say though, X-Men was such a favourite for me, loved the comics and i remember getting up every saturday at nine eagerly anticipating their theme song

*duh duh da duh duh dunn, duh duh da duh duh dunn, da dun!*

(Well thats how it went in my head)

Alrightie, just my 2 cents and by the way, do ya dig?

P.S I love Jughead man, i mean, who doesn't love Jughead?? All he wants are his burgers, his hat and to be left alone! God bless Jughead and his little crown!

Shoulders Burdened.

2005-12-27T22:29:00.000+08:00

You smile but i see the sadness in your eyes
I know you feel betrayed by the lies and goodbyes.
After looking down, "Time is ticking" you say
Even when i tell you there will be another day.
Smile and keep your chin up girl
You're an amazing person in this crazy world.
Like diamonds, your nature is scarce
Others smile blankly and the kindness is a farce.
Our time on this earth is short and sweet
Look at your strength and how you stand on your own two feet.
I admire, even envy you
I'd love to pursue life the way you do.
Souls like yours are deep like the Pacific
When times are hard, you need a Humphrey, not a Mick.
I know that one day the dust will settle
And you will make your way out of the nettle.
To shine like the star you rightfully are
You will make leaps, bounds and shoot oh so far.
Looking at the sky i shade my eyes cos your power is so bright
Smiling with the knowledge that you have won your inner fight.

-For the Girl with the Purple Car by Ellyana Yumi B.Sakano

Btw, isn't purple such a cool word? Repeat it to ur self a few times, purple, purple, purple!

Some Things That've Just Hit Me...

2005-12-27T21:22:00.000+08:00

1) Random faces pop into my head before i fall asleep, ppl i've never even met before

2) I realise that this then disturbs the process of me falling asleep as i start wondering if these ppl exist.

3) My mother calls her husband 'stinkard' once in a while, that tickled me.

4) People are really nice...until you get too close.

5) I blame too many things on men.

6) As the human race, we are conditioned to be sexist, women allow our gender to be subordinated.

7) I can come across as a bitter woman.

8) My dad is oriental but he can cook a mean curry, way to go dad!

9) I feel bad for one-hit wonders and Hollywood has beens, plus i still really like Ice-T.

10) Not all kids are innocent and sweet, some are plain evil.

11) Stupid ppl shouldn't have children because, majority of the time, they breed ignorance into the world.

12) Narnia was nowhere as good as i'd expected - lucky i bought the dvd instead.

13) Seeing my dad smile because i've done something simple such as wash the dishes is the best feeling in the world.

14) Chivalry isn't dead, just scarce.

15) I have no money these days thus, my bargain hunting skills have been vastly improved.

16) Prostitutes, police, mat-motos (who then become police when they're older), pretentious arseholes, arrogant arty-farty ppl are all very annoying (hey! Nothing wrong with being plain arty-farty yah, art is boot-i-full).

17) Lunch with the girls is always fun.

18) I will probably never get to see space .

19) I want a villa in Tuscany, Italy.

20) We should all put away one day where we can indulge our romantic affair with life itself. Whatever rocks your boat ya know? Do what you love, put on your favourite clothes, eat, laugh, read or dance your heart out.

The Colours of Being 20.

2005-12-27T21:01:00.000+08:00

Vain that i am, i must say we look delicious. Asha, we're missin you over here! And ur sisters are bullying me, help! Heheh.

2005-12-27T21:00:00.001+08:00

My first attempt at the whole layering thingamajig, photoshop's my best buddy when no-one's around...even more fun than the Sims 2. Oh God, why did i just reveal that?

2005-12-27T21:00:00.000+08:00

Follow the white rabbit.

2005-12-27T20:51:00.001+08:00

Terri's fallin asleep after her shandy ahahahha, God Terri - you and your bloody shandy *muah*

2005-12-27T20:51:00.000+08:00

Onaka suita! Japanese food, in my Japanese dad's favourite Japanese restaraunt. How utterly Japanese, bracing myself for the Nip jokes heheh :)

2005-12-27T20:48:00.000+08:00

Fionaaa, Fionaaa...My absolute favourite girl and the name always reminds me of Shrek 2.

2005-12-27T20:46:00.000+08:00

Injected more vibrancy, loved the pic before and adore it now. Forever young, we want to be forever young!

2005-12-27T20:43:00.000+08:00

The dudettes on a mission to paint the town drunk.

Fizzle With Me

2005-12-19T04:02:00.000+08:00

Up and down, I go round and round,
Came here lookin for escape but it is you I have found.
Look at your pretty eyes, your muscles ripped so sexily,
I may be cruel, you don't know, as I reach over so daintily.
Touch you here, look at you there,
To look underneath my face, you wouldn't dare.
Like a proud peacock you will strut,
Know your boundaries or I will go tut tut tut.
Let's explore this and play a lil' game,
In my corner there is no shame.
Had a bad day, I'm never satisfied but what to do?
Being numb is ok, composed then coming undone with you.
Seductive looks and warm oil,
Dance with me and the tempo will boil.
Invoke your senses, do what you want,
Tonight you can be the prey or on the hunt.
As night falls, roll your dice,
Keep your lips warm and your heart cold as ice.

-Ellyana Yumi B.Sakano

Dum dee Dum

2005-12-19T03:28:00.000+08:00

Had a great couple of weeks...How replenishing male company can be.
Ooooh but how i hate that life bites you in the ass at the most inconceivable of times.
Yeah lil' kid, it's gonna happen to you too, no matter how cute you are.
How evil of me to say that.

Pink Ribbon

2005-12-12T07:00:00.000+08:00

My soul is in the darkest corners of my eyes
My stare is cold as my mouth forms lies.
You and your naivete, what do you expect from me?
I am not strong, I am not free, open your eyes and see.
Don't come after me, get away from this twisted woman-girl
Armour has taken over beauty, she is sharp glass and no longer a pearl.
My feet are rough, I've walked barefoot to get here
Don't give me no sweet smiles, you won't get anything dear.
No more hopes and dreams, I am not a pushover, I am not a whore
Take your everything that is nothing and make your way to the door.
Images telling me, begging me to accept that life is simple
The scent of sesame, cotton sheets and a smile that is dimpled.
Don't get this unfulfilled spirit wrong
Sometimes I'm sad or angry, otherwise I sing a happy song.
This tune fills many days, but I can also play dumb
You think you have the upper hand? Analyse the sum.
As I act unaware, then cut you with my words
Attack the mare, then feel the wrath of herds.
What do you think I am? Touch me, taste me, then judge me
Can I prove that you are the fool? Oui.
For God's sake be real or I will laugh at your ignorance
In that case I will forget your face and your idiotic testaments.
Don't feign confusion, the lava in my heart is aching
I need real people, the conceit and blindness of your soul is tiring.
You say I feel far too much, I snigger as you claim that I think out of the blue
Who am I to say this to you? I should find other outlets, I should get a clue.
I will sway my hips away from this place
Oh a woman's love and beauty you have laid to waste.
My intent, even though blessed with a cold kiss
Is to reveal the truth about women that is often missed.
We carry life but so many of us feel dead
To honour, love and protect...Is that what you said?
With bruises on her face, in little things she will still find joy
The complexity of her is revealed as she is both bold and coy.
Our sweet honey does not drip profusely, know that every girl has a black hole
Thoughts and emotions run high even as we struggle to fit the mould.

-Ellyana Yumi B.Sakano

Oh Bloody Hell

2005-12-12T04:01:00.000+08:00

I don't get rudeness. I don't bloody understand mood-swings of those outside my family ('cept maybe Farrah's, sometimes lah).

Where is that line where ya stop urself and say "why the hell did i say that to.../snap at... him/her?"

I just don't get it. It always makes me feel like scratching my head, u wanna snap? Go ahead, snap, but then apologise. No snidey comments that undermine me too, thanks, i'd appreciate it.

Sometimes people annoy me, even those that i love, my friends are all awesome blossom - strong girls with strong characters but sometimes we clash like sandpaper and skin. Humans tend to mistake niceness or pleasantries for a weakness - d'you bite the hand that feeds you? No? Well you don't snarl at one who smiles at you either - respect given is linked to character. No matter how sweet one is inside, the respect they offer people at given moments is key to how others will view them. We are, after all, just humans and one will definitely encounter moments of forgetting one's manners but it never hurts to be a gentleman or a lady and admit fault or partial fault after a sticky situation.

There are times when the anger boils up inside of me, i may not say anything (if i'm sober, otherwise i'm a shouter) but the anger is definitely there. People like to give shit to others when they're havin a shitty day or are feeling shitty -I tell you what - don't bring the whole world down with you man! It's rude, does not benefit you, and you'll get 'wtf?' looks. So don't give me any shit for what i do or say - it's all here baby, i can't change the girl that is me. As long as what i've done or said doesn't hurt you, no comments please, 'specially if we're close cos i sure as hell try to support ur ass when you feel silly.

Also, you know when u try and start friendly banter and conversation? Tease someone in a friendly way about somethin to do with them or the friendship shared, well whatever it is, you put them in the spotlight right? You make them the focus of attention and you have good intentions, but man, sometimes, you get a reply so curt and saa-werrrrr (sour lah) that you wonder what died in their mouth.

I'm a pretty straightforward person, especially when it comes to those i care for, if u have a problem dude, then tell me. If it's a problem with somethin i said or did, tell me too, however, do it in a polite way that doesn't make me feel or look like crap.

Uuuurgh, this isn't supposed to offend anybody, including my darlings - just feeling a bit upset and confused, at times i don't get the concept of dismissing mood swings. After the argument/comments people make, someone says something or other about a different topic to alleviate the situation but the tension can ferment. Respect (even in a seemingly shallow way such as conversation) is the greatest gift humans can and should give each other.

Do not do unto others what you do not want done unto you ~ Confucius (551-479 BC)

...Then we can all smile like our anjing friend above heheh.

Anjing = Dog

:P

A Treat For All the Girls! Eye-Candy of Many Sorts.

2005-12-05T22:40:00.000+08:00

Dean Cain...still (say it like this) naaa-ice.

2005-12-05T22:39:00.001+08:00

Russell Wong

2005-12-05T22:39:00.000+08:00

Kenji Sakaguchi

2005-12-05T22:38:00.001+08:00

Reynaldo Dogianecchini

2005-12-05T22:38:00.000+08:00

Rahul Khanna

2005-12-05T22:37:00.000+08:00

Thierry Henry

2005-12-05T22:33:00.000+08:00

Jay Hernandez

2005-12-05T22:32:00.000+08:00

Ken Watanabe

2005-12-05T22:31:00.000+08:00

Jason Momoa

2005-12-05T22:30:00.000+08:00

Jakob Dylan

2005-12-05T22:28:00.000+08:00

Takeshi Kaneshiro

God Bless the Internet! Friends Revisiting Malaysia After Too Long.

2005-12-05T21:02:00.000+08:00

Wide eyed cos of the way the lead singer (of some aussie band that played at the event) was shakin his bootie ooh-la-la!

2005-12-05T21:00:00.000+08:00

Lovin' the free drinks.

2005-12-05T20:56:00.000+08:00

Posing at La Bodega during dinner and drinks, how i lurrrrrrrrrve Sangria!

2005-12-05T20:55:00.000+08:00

According to Alex i haven't changed much in the past few years but look how small his eyes are - must be blind heheheh (oh the vanity!). Alex and his friend Eduard were travelling around Asia in style, met them when Faz and i were 16 so we all had dinner for old times sake.

What Tangled Webs We Weave.

2005-11-20T23:12:00.000+08:00

Every step i take, the anklet on my right foot tinkles - i use it to remind myself that i am still walking, that i can still dance my way through life.

I find strength in possibilities of what i can achieve in the future. I made my mistakes, nobody was hurt, only myself and i've done quite enough, the foolishness must go and i so want to move forwards instead of back. For once in my life i've started to believe in the saying "when one door closes, another one opens", i've always found it strange myself how i can't let go of the past so easily, my stubborn hand always holds on like its a competition. These days, however, the theme has been sprinkled with takin it easy.

A part of me is grateful that i've been through this particularly nasty year - better now than the future. Still, sometimes i wish that the events we go through can benefit us like armour, if only there was a guarantee that we are only to go through certain situations once or twice and will never have to repeat them again.

It's refreshing to feel that i don't have to answer to anyone, being alone is better than being with the wrong person for you. How nice it is to feel that glow again when appreciation is shown by loved ones and you don't feel that need for him or her to be there and understand you anymore because you have the warmth of the most important ppl already - the ones who will be there no matter what. I was out the other day and grinning like a fool (a large group of women and alcohol = alot of merriment and "oh man you guys are awesome/i love all of you/we're so hot!!").

I've been through my mourning of something that wasn't there in the first place (or in a less negative tone, "should've seen what was there instead of some holy light") and now i'm bouncing back - sure it may not be what some consider the best method (my legs are killing me from the amount of dancing needed by the newly single) but hey, i love life and it's colours and its lands and people and if i am gone tomorrow, i go with the knowledge that i had passion and savoured everything life gave me...including my food man, you should see how slow i eat.

:) Heheh.

2005-11-20T05:41:00.000+08:00

Bored as

2005-11-20T05:38:00.000+08:00

Eating home-made green tea ice-cream at 5 something in the morning and checking out anime on the net. Heh, what a life.

-Simple and Honest-

2005-11-16T06:37:00.000+08:00

I wrote this months ago, it's so childlike and simple but hey "i got ladyfingers baby, i got heart" -

Dark is this light, it used to shine, now it is dim
When it comes to the many facets of you, where do i begin?
My mind is a labyrinth and my heart; a sanctuary
Do i repel u so? You tread on my path so wearily
As a young girl, the raindrops fell in my mouth
Lands floated on clouds, that was my north and my south
I always wanted a playmate with stars in his eyes
He would come with a horse and shield me from the pain and lies
We would be lovers in the light and warriors for our cause
But he always sweeps me off my feet, then he takes a breath and a pause
His eyes fall on me, then the ground
And once again, i'd lose the friend i thought i'd found
Like the raindrops, happiness is elusive
You lose your balance, you fall the moment you give
Maybe if we let ourselves be jaded
And i allow my memories and principles to be faded
Maybe then, i can walk with the world, join in on the 'fun'
I can walk with a fake smile and let my true being come undone
Take my hand, save me from this turbulence in my soul
Take my life and make me feel whole
Let me be the little girl who is inside of me
Another day of sunshine, for a moment let us feel free.

-Ellyana Yumi B.Sakano

My First Day at Photoshop School...Not literally man.

2005-11-16T04:58:00.000+08:00

And ta-da! The piece de resistance! Farrah's cool insight, she took all these photos and edited this one whilst i tried my hand at the others below.

2005-11-16T04:57:00.000+08:00

Drama is a way of life bebe.

2005-11-16T04:56:00.000+08:00

I like this alot! For some strange reason it reminds me of Jesus hahahahahhahah oh wierd thoughts crack me up.

2005-11-16T04:54:00.000+08:00

So I am being vain - some interesting shots courtesy of technology.

2005-11-16T04:52:00.001+08:00

Life in vivid colour.

2005-11-16T04:52:00.000+08:00

experimenting with the stained glass thingamajig.

Procrastination.

2005-11-14T01:29:00.000+08:00

Fell asleep around 10pm and woke at 12am. Strange. Pretty bored...Seriously, there are 3.5 more months of holiday days for me, must start Japanese lessons soon.
Instead, I'm here havin a ciggie and typing *sigh*, gots to get movin.

Such a stigma when its not even a dirty word.

2005-11-13T16:38:00.000+08:00

Not getting any? Itchy days got you blue? Or maybe u're just curious if employing the use of a vodka soaked tampon is wise? Well this is where u wanna go.
Oh and btw ladies, let ur vaginas sing! Heheh yep that's right , i am a woman and i can say vagina as many times as i want to without needing u to crinkle up ur nose in disgust - so here it goes... Vagina vagina vagina! Muaahahaha, how liberating.

Piqued My Curiosity.

2005-11-13T16:18:00.000+08:00

Hey dudes, Farrah's been experimenting with photos and here's one she took of my lips - i'm her new muse ! Heheh, anyways will put more up when she's done, gotta say it was bloody fun posing :P

Bah! Run everyone, run!

2005-11-10T02:00:00.000+08:00

Grrrrrrrls night out!

2005-09-19T21:10:00.000+08:00

Isn't she friggin' cute? Ailly with some freak tryin to invade her personal space haha.

2005-09-19T21:09:00.000+08:00

Doing a zoolander pose at castle! With my beloved friend, smudged out for security reasons hehe.

Adventures in Malaysia and Singapore! (Think its about time i put somethin cheerful up!)

2005-09-14T03:20:00.000+08:00

Bye bye Kiasu-land! Till we meet again (when i have lots of money, can afford an imported car, send my kids to a good school and have the 5 c's or if the government cuts us some slack...Whew haha)

2005-09-14T03:17:00.000+08:00

Apparently some Filipino lady was recently found chopped up nearby this street - freaky.

2005-09-14T03:16:00.000+08:00

Cable Car's to Sentosa island, this one time at band camp...Heheh, nah when we were 13, some friends and i snuck into Sheraton Sentosa to swim with the lifeguards - Ana was a real flirt, she wasn't happy with the almost male-less beach.

2005-09-14T03:14:00.000+08:00

Cool pic of reflections at Orchard road, wicked shopping, bought a top for S$2.

2005-09-14T03:12:00.000+08:00

Someone at IndoChine had a sense of humour. Great place - free entry too! Hehe well i'm a broke student ok.

2005-09-14T03:11:00.000+08:00

Sapporo beer! Hokkaido! Obachan, Ojichan! Go Hokkaido! :)

2005-09-14T03:10:00.000+08:00

Tryin to pose for the pic, still at Hooter's - i kept gettin distracted by bums! If i wasn't lookin at that i was lookin at leery old men who were indiscreetly checkin out bums haha

2005-09-14T02:54:00.000+08:00

Hooters at Clarke Quay! We must go to Hooters, must go to Hooters (that was goin through Kenji's head as we were crossing the border)

2005-09-14T02:52:00.000+08:00

Our buddy at Hooters (i want that singlet! They didn't sell them though), as i was telling the guys - Hooters in Singapore should be labelled Booters...ahem, for obvious reasons.

2005-09-14T02:45:00.000+08:00

Clarke Quay, i'm lovin it.

2005-09-14T02:44:00.001+08:00

Singaporean mentality!

2005-09-14T02:44:00.000+08:00

My dad feeds us beer, call social services! Hehe, this was in Brewerkz by Riverside Point in Singapore (my district!)

2005-09-14T02:41:00.000+08:00

Kenji: I wanna eat your fooooood! Ansgar: Mofo! I'll just smile politely and hope u go away.

2005-09-14T02:40:00.001+08:00

More balls!! Heheh, this time in Singapore.

2005-09-14T02:40:00.000+08:00

OoooOOooh, looks just like a resort aye? I love this bloody condo!

2005-09-14T02:38:00.000+08:00

At the poolside, hey! Who's that guy from the 70's show?? Ryan still reads Archie comics haha.

2005-09-14T02:37:00.000+08:00

Balls...a girl's life hehehe.

2005-09-14T02:36:00.000+08:00

Me gettin ready to strike ha! Yeah right.

2005-09-14T02:35:00.000+08:00

Ryan wonderin why the ball's being unkind to him.

2005-09-14T02:34:00.000+08:00

Kenji after a strike, what a show-off. Yeah, i came in last again... :(

2005-09-14T02:33:00.000+08:00

Cool pic aye? At the glow in the dark bowlin alley.

2005-09-14T02:32:00.000+08:00

Food again, we cavemen like ribs. Baaad pic, was gettin impatient.

2005-09-14T02:31:00.000+08:00

Beauty in Bukit Bintang, like the sakura trees in springtime Japan.

2005-09-14T02:30:00.000+08:00

Again in Petaling Street, Ken and Ansgar lookin for the food...we hungry!

2005-09-14T02:29:00.000+08:00

My best friend in Petaling Street, always visit him :)

2005-09-14T02:27:00.000+08:00

Hahaha Kenji and Monchichi driving to Nepal.

2005-09-14T02:22:00.000+08:00

Let's start in Malaysia - the city of lights hehe.

New Hairdo!

2005-09-12T21:05:00.000+08:00

Yay yay! (<---sounded like my dad there or to some of u piggies; kero keropi!) New hairdo, blonde and black streaks for soooo crazily cheap, had to sit there for 5 hours but it was worth it. Feel like a spankin new sports car at the moment, or maybe a very sexy feline hehehehe :-P

Tata! Gonna play computer games now hahaha, yeah instead of goin out, i celebrate by living vicariously through simulated life. Too damn tired so i'm bringin the party over here, Fiona's bringing her butt to me as i type.

Open Your Eyes in September

2005-09-12T03:01:00.000+08:00

So here i am sittin infront of this computer. Just got back from the motherland (haha!), Singapore and it was just amazing, everywhere i walked, every breath i took just brought back comforting memories. I saw the park my family and i used to visit every sunday, the shopping mall i took my saxophone lessons from and i even saw the little lane my brother and i used to cycle through. *Whew* it was just exhilarating to go back, it's been too long and it felt like the calm after the storm...Well maybe in my case - the eye of the hurricane.

I made a dumb move the other day, i acted foolishly, on impulse and demanded something that was not worth my time, someone else held all the cards because this person finds it easier to turn away - all this self-induced worthlessness because i am a victim of my desires.

My head is starting to take over once again, however, and my heart is starting to beat again. On one side of this girl's life, there is a menacing figure who views my pain as his pleasure and on the other side of the fence is the joker, the great pretender who got overexcited then walked away because, as it turns out, i'm less than perfect and i have opinions. It surprises me that i am after all, just one little woman in this world with enough inner strength to deal with all this negative energy and still keep a smile on my outer face yet those who claim to be older and wiser take a deeper look at my life, then decide to run.
It's just like lions aye? If you shave that majestic, cocky mane off, they look just like lionesses.

I feel the wind again, alot of me is bruised but i will never be broken. I may be too dramatic for your liking, or, as some people imply - i may think too much of myself (yeah, some lions can probably write better than me in their language, but i did not ask for a "degrade Yumi even more" session, try the words support and empathy.) But man, what if all i ever wanted was the simple life - maybe a farm, some horses and lots of food, laughter and children?

I never asked for drama, i admit though, that recently, i've made the stupidest choices known to my 20 yr-old life and i suspect that i have a sign on my forehead screaming "Idiot alert! Foolish idealist over here! Look how stupid she is, i've actually attached myself to her forehead without her noticing! Come and take advantage!" But now you mofos, i've ripped that bloody sign off my numb forehead. If my voice doesn't mean anything to those who say the glass is half empty then why the crap am i wasting my breath. Look at me, here i go again, wasting my breath, trying to be heard, waving my arms frantically around.

It's just this folks, you know when others claim that you're overreacting? That your anger has no foundation? And for a long time you agree with them, you compromise yourself by saying that 'you're seeing it from their point of view'. Then, one day, snap! You find that liberating feeling of seeing things from your point of view again. You find your pride once more and you really don't give two sh*ts what their opinion is anymore. Woohoo! I feel like dancing to the beat of my own drum again! Hahahah, this is actually a strangely ecstatic moment, a backlash to those who refuse to accept me as i am. Yes, yes, i know i hardly think before i speak, i am overbearing, i show too much affection that my worth goes down with every compliment i give, and then there are those who think i don't lavish them with enough affection (i agree with you lot too, i think only of myself as i make the time to cater to your wants and supposed needs)...Hmmm what else? The biggest recent sin of all! I reveal too much! I am far too open, well remember sugar, life is short and ya live only once (well unless you're buddhist) *muah*.

I should be scared, i should be afraid to walk the streets. There are worse situations out there, people suffering, hunger, poverty, war, desperation, acts of God. But living my 'normal' life, i sometimes too feel alone, all alone. I refuse to give in though, to run away, i won't voluntarily collide with this situation but i will sit still, right here on the curb and watch the days go by. It feels peaceful when you sit still and watch people, you watch those that you think are hysterical and those that think you're hysterical. Then when they go, you look at whatever scenery is offered to you, you don't run, you dry your tears. The sun will come, as long as you just sit. wait. and watch.

Our Paradise.

2005-09-08T06:20:00.000+08:00

I stare at the flowers held up to the light
I breathe in this empty fight,
Try walking along the road of shadows,
The road that others shield their eyes from due to its many sorrows,
This world and it misgivings can make the innocent hard,
Those beautifully curious eyes, the sprinkle of laughter - all marred,
To hold on to your very soul, you walk on whilst looking up at the sky,
But this place may almost certainly drag you down once again, as humans can't fly,
For so many, this is the era of escapism,
As you walk on though, you still see those that preach humanism,
Some of these prophets believe in humanity,
Many of them only think about the love of money,
Just let it flow through, numbness is the only way out,
They don't hear you, not even if you talk, reach for them or shout,
With your shoulders hunched down protectively,
Walk on through this torturous life,
Where all we see is people dying needlessly,
Everyday - somebody's husband, child or wife,
Is this their idea of utopia? We'll keep on walking in our jaded splendour,
One day the reign of the liar, tyrants and takers will be over,
Walk as the veiled black birds take flight around you,
For our children, the sweetness of this sorrow just won't do.

-Ellyana Yumi B.Sakano